The Courage to Be the Author of Your Life

The Courage to Be the Author of Your Life

When I was in classes to become a New Thought/Science of Mind spiritual practitioner one of our assignments was to write our eulogy and perform our memorial service. It was a powerful exercise as we were being asked to consider our legacy, how we wanted to be remembered, and the memories we wanted to leave behind. We were reminded that we were ultimately authoring our lives or what was left of it and we had important choices to make.

It was a beautiful opportunity to gain clarity on what really mattered to us and to touch the courage we needed to make a commitment to get our lives in alignment with our higher selves.

Time flies by quickly.

Like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end the faster it goes. If we are not intentionally designing our life, some asshole is going to take the duration of our years and unceremoniously flush them down the toilet. Do you want that?

If you don’t want that, you must choose to become the author of your life. You must courageously step up and away from the TV, Facebook, dysfunctional friend or family member, or whatever mind-numbing time suck you lose yourself in and decide what direction you want to take your life.

If your life was a book what genre would it be? Comedy, Drama, Tragic Comedy, Romance, True Crime, Inspirational?

What kind of book do you want your life to be?

Where does your heroine/hero want to go? What does s/he want to do? What difference does s/he want to make in her/his life and the lives of others? What obstacles does s/he need to overcome? Why should we root for this person?

You matter. Your life matters. It’s time to stop playing small and letting life happen to you. It’s time to be courageous and become the author of your life.

There are many ways to be courageous.

Being true to yourself.

Following your dreams.

Helping others.

Making a difference in the world.

Doing something new.

Walking your authentic path.

Expressing yourself and your individuality.

How will you be courageous in 2017?

Check out my new program Follow your Courageous Heart: A 90 Day Journey Beyond Fear to Fulfillment. 

 

be-the-author-of-your-life be-the-author-of-your-life

What makes a person courageous?

What makes a person courageous?

 

A courageous person goes against the stream. Unlike a rebel who is simply defiant, a courageous person goes against the stream because they have a higher purpose.

Oprah Winfrey revolutionized TV talk shows by focusing on literature, self-improvement, and spirituality to empower audiences.

A courageous person sees possibilities where others don’t.how-will-you-be-courageous-in-2017_

Steve Jobs saw possibilities others didn’t see and revolutionized the computer world.

A courageous person treads where others fear to tread. It doesn’t mean that a courageous person doesn’t feel fear. It means that they don’t let fear stop them.

Ellen DeGeneres created a show that had an openly gay character. Ellen was the first openly gay actor to play an openly gay character.

A courageous person doesn’t let social convention stop them. They courageously express themselves in ways that are authentic to them.

Prince and David Bowie are two examples of men who expressed themselves in ways that were outside of social convention. They both had innovative musical styles.

A courageous person works to make changes in laws when they see something wrong. 

Nelson Mandela had the courage to fight against the unjust system of apartheid. He was sent to prison for 20 years and during that time he says he was preparing to lead his country, which he did. He became the president of South Africa, when he was released two decades later.

Mandela said, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.:

Erin Brockovich, a legal clerk, works to hold corporations accountable for their pollutants and helped win one of the largest lawsuits against PGE for polluting the drinking water of residents in a Southern California town.

A courageous person stands up for the rights of others.

Chiune Sugihara, a Japanese diplomat in Lithuania, helped 6,000 Jews escape from Lithuania during the holocaust by personally writing exit visas violating orders from Tokyo.

Harriet Tubman, a runaway slave, returned to help thousands of other slaves through the Underground Railroad escape to freedom.

A courageous person stands up for themselves and thus help others like them who are being treated unfairly.

People like Martin Luther King, Jr., Harvey Milk, Cesar Chavez, Dolores Huerta, and Rosa Parks.

A courageous person goes after their dreams.

Malala Yousafzai a young Pakistani woman continued going to school after receiving death threats. She survived an attack on her life and continues to speak out for girls to have an equal right to education.

A courageous person believes in themselves and puts in the time to make their dreams come true.

At twelve years old, Muhammad Ali began training as a boxer. He dreamed of being a world champion and he become one. He said, “Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it.”

There are many ways to be courageous. How will you be courageous in 2017?

Check out my free call 7 Steps to Move Beyond Fear and Courageously Live the Life of Your Dreams

The Courage to Change The Things We Can

god-grant-me-the“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I carry this prayer in my wallet and sometimes I actually remember to look at it. I was first introduced to this prayer in my teenage years when I chose a clean and sober lifestyle. In twelve step meetings we always prayed out with the Serenity Prayer.

This prayer is a powerful reminder that some aspects of life are out of control and we must surrender and let them be, rather than trying to make them be a certain way. However there are many things in our lives that we do have agency over.

We all have the ability to change our thoughts, our words, and our actions and yes, even our circumstances. We just need to connect to this truth and find the courage to make changes.

How do we find the courage?

What’s helped me tap my courage is to find someone who has done what I want to do or to find others who are in the process of making similar changes in their lives.

When I wanted to get sober I got a sponsor and attended meetings with other people who were choosing a healthier lifestyle.

When I’ve had to muster the courage to take bigger leaps in my own life, I’ve hired my own life coach, therapist and spiritual counselor. I practice what I preach. I believe it’s very important for people who coach or counsel others to also be engaged in their own personal growth work and get support. In fact, I’m sort of suspicious of people who don’t.

I’ve also found that prayer, positive affirmations, and talking with a trusted friend are powerful ways to tap into courage.

My clients often remark that in our work together they are able to move through fear, self-doubt and negative thinking and make important changes in their lives. They say that working with me as their coach has allowed them to “light a fire under their butt” or that working together allowed them to push through blocks that previously stopped them.

I get it. When I wanted to get in shape I joined a gym and attended exercise classes and boot camp. Having a coach or a trainer to encourage and push me kept me going on days when I was tired and I wanted to quit.

I love surprising myself and moving past my own fears and perceived limitations and I love to help other people move beyond their fears and find fulfillment they didn’t know was possible.

While some things are truly out of hands, everyday we get to make a choice to be courageous about the things we can change. Will we choose to go after our dreams? Will we choose to live our lives authentically? Will we choose to address our mental blocks and negative thoughts that hold us back? Will we choose to make lifestyle changes that allow us to be healthy, strong, and vibrant? Will we choose to end unhealthy patterns of relating?

Today let us pray for the courage to change the things we can.

Check out my free call 7 Steps to Move Beyond Fear and Courageously Live the Life of Your Dreams

Be a visionary, not a victim.

As we get ready to cross the threshold from 2016 to 2017 I invite you to begin this new cycle from a place of inspiration, not desperation, a place of courage, not fear, a place of love, not hate.

Sure, they are real challenges ahead, some external like politicians and people’s cherished prejudices, physical illnesses, and financial situations that we must absolutely deal with. But let us not cower in the presence of these obstacles.happynewyear-2017-gif-happynewyear2017orgin-17

We must deal with our internal challenges that trip us up. We must face and erase our doubts, fears, and worries. Let us grow even bigger than our fears. Let us rise to the occasion and find ways to inspire ourselves and others. Let us be solution focused, rather than problem-obsessed. Let us be resourceful and creative, rather than depressed and resigned. Let us find the very best in ourselves and others.

Let us begin again from a place of enthusiasm that we are alive at a time where we are being asked to lead, not be sheeple, where we are being to asked to love and bring something better to the generations to come.

This is a new cycle where we can flourish, not flounder. Where we can assert with greater clarity our commitment to diversity, equality, environmentalism, freedom, cooperation, sharing, and all that really matters to us. We are not minions.

Rise up with great love and determination in your heart. Rise up with a ferocious commitment to create a world of peace and sister/brotherhood.

Don’t simply focus on what you don’t want or your fear of what could happen.

Envision a world you’re proud of. Be a visionary, not a victim. Begin within by creating yourself and your life in a way that brings you joy and happiness. This is where your strength resides.

Be Courageous!

I love you and wish you a very Happy New Year!

Dr. Davina

It Didn’t Seem Like Much At The Time

It didn’t seem like much at the time.

I saw a flyer taped to a light pole on 19th and Castro in San Francisco. It said something about a forum on same-sex marriage. It was 1999. I’ve always been politically aware and involved and told my then wife, Molly, of my intention to attend. She had guests visiting from out of town, her ex-girlfriend, had come to stay with us and brought her current girlfriend.

Molly dropped me off at the Harvey Milk school in the Castro and they went off to brunch. I walked in, backpack slung over my shoulder, and took a seat in the 7th grade classroom.

There were a handful of guys, two of them were school teachers, Tom Henning and Brian Davis. Tom spoke about getting signatures for a pro-marriage equality ballot initiative which was interesting because Senator Pete Knight had created a ballot initiative to pass a law taking away same-sex marriage rights should same-sex marriage be legalized in any other state.

I picked up some literature and a few copies of the petition for people to sign and we walked to the corner of 19th and Castro with an ironing board and officially started signature gathering for same-sex marriage. No one was particularly interested in signing the petition. Two hours later Molly picked me up.

“How was it?” she asked.
“Interesting,” I said, always my standard reply. “I’m going to start gathering signatures.”

I’m sure her ivory tower ex-girlfriend made some remark about the patriarchal institution of marriage. I didn’t care. I knew real rights for real people trumped academic deconstructionism.

It didn’t seem like much at the time, but going to that meeting was the catalyst for becoming a pioneer in the marriage equality movement. That meeting was followed by years of personally engaging in signature gathering, marriage equality conversations with thousands of people, public forums, marriage license counter requests, demonstrations, a marriage equality bus tour across the U.S., a marriage equality rally at the U.S. Capitol, two published books Why you should give a damn about gay marriage and Love Warriors, multiple documentaries, countless radio, TV, and news interviews, and 16 years later marriage equality across the country in June 2015. One meeting can change the course of your life. Following one intuitive hunch can launch a thousand steps in your life. Following your heart can take you places you never dreamed of going.

What is one thing you’ve felt a calling to do? Follow your calling! Follow your courageous heart

My Weird Miracle

My Weird Miracle

Last month I was invited to speak to the National Association of Bar Executives at the American Bar Association Conference in San Francisco on the topic of LGBTQ Diversity.  I was a little harried when I arrived the night before because my flight was cancelled at the last minute and I had to change airports and arrival time. I checked into the Hilton, stopped by the gift shop for some chocolate around 7pm and debated whether to review my presentation before or after dinner.

I decided I would feel more enthused after dinner. So, I left my luggage and laptop bag in my room and ventured out for food. I stopped at an Indian restaurant that had photos of Bill Clinton with the owner. Apparently this was a favorite haunt of he and Hillary’s pre-White House. I enjoyed my meal and then returned to the hotel at 8:00 PM.

When I got back to my room my laptop bag was missing. I looked everywhere and found it nowhere. I remembered having it on the BART; surely I didn’t leave it there. The lobby, perhaps I’d left it upon check in, though I swear I’d taken it to the room.

I raced to the reception desk. “I think I may have left a laptop bag here about an hour ago.” I told the receptionist who phoned security. Security came and asked me to describe the bag. “Yes, we found a black bag with a computer. We’ll bring it up, “ he said. I sat and waited in the lobby for 15 minutes until they arrived with the bag. My heart sank when I saw that it wasn’t mine. I filed a report, and then made some tearful phone calls.

I believe in the power of prayer/focused positive energy to effect change.

I posted a request on FB for prayers that my laptop bag return to me. I believe in the power of prayer/ focused positive energy to effect change. I also got a return call from the Agape Prayer Line and asked for prayer.

I mentally retraced my steps. I asked the young man working in the gift shop if he’d remembered seeing my bag. He said, “Yes, you had it balanced atop your suitcase.”

“Thank you, “ I said, confirming that I indeed had it when I arrived and checked into my room. I remembered that someone was vacuuming in the room next to mine and I contacted security to give them the additional information. Then, I went back to my room and tried to manage my anxiety.

I’m a writer. Everything is on my laptop; screenplays, books I’m working on, presentations. I do back everything up on an external hard drive, but it had been at least 6 months since I’d done that. A lot can happen in six months. What was worse, is that I always keep a zip drive at home with my most recent drafts of my work, and it just so happened that I’d put the thumb drive in my bag because I’d printed copies of a screenplay I’m working on for my writer’s group. I was beginning to question my karma and clearly questioning what I’d been thinking to manifest such unfortunate circumstances.

I had to take a hard look at my thoughts.

Some good things were on my horizon that required me to stretch and come out of hiding. I realized that this opportunity for growth was triggering me. What better way to stay small than to lose my proverbial voice—my writing, books I’ve been working on for years?

I did some powerful work on myself, including calling my own coach to explore this possible karmic self-sabotage. I realized there was some grief that needed to be expressed.

Every time we grow and embrace something new, we let go of something else, even if it’s a lesser version of ourselves.

I had some tears to shed that had to with past losses, fear of change and losing control, which ultimately meant letting go and letting the Universe support me. I also had to surrender and trust that the Universe had a plan for me and that if I was meant to release my computer it would work out. At the same time, I kept holding the return of my computer in my mind. I worked to tap into the feeling tone of my computer coming back to me.

One of my friend’s texted me and told me she’d lost a whole draft of her book and had to re-write from scratch which she did and it’s now a widely successful book. Another friend contacted me and told me what I needed to do for my computer’s security and how to handle the situation with the hotel. She’d been through this before and said it was common.

I called my girlfriend and we talked and I shared with her some of the things that had been coming up for me that I hadn’t yet shared with her. We had a very rich conversation and while we were talking I heard a knock on the door.

At 11:30 PM I opened the door and the security guys were standing there with my laptop bag. I broke into tears of joy and thanked them. I was so relieved!

I looked inside. Everything was there, including my journal and the thumb drive.

“Have you taken any medication today?” They asked me.

I looked at them and laughed. “No,” I said, “Why do you ask?”

“Are you sure you weren’t in Tower 1?”

“No,” I said, and reviewed for them exactly where I’d gone in the hotel since I arrived. They told me they found my laptop on the 10th floor of Tower I. They looked at me perplexed.

I don’t know how my computer got there or who took it from my room. At one point I was told they had cameras and that they would check them. Then later I was told that they were no cameras. I don’t know what’s true in regard to their security procedures. It’s probable that it was an inside job.

What I do know is that miracle consciousness and prayer work.

I believe in the positive energy of all my friends on Facebook holding the return of my computer in prayer and I believe in the power of miracles consciousness. Thanks to all who sent their positive energy my way. I hope we can all continue to reach out in times of challenge and send one another loving thoughts. Focused positive intention is powerful Our love is powerful!

Below is a picture of my beloved computer.

computer

Just Keep Swimming!

In September 2000, I attended Tony Robbins’ Life Mastery Workshop in Hawaii. I climbed the 40 foot tall pole, gathered up my courage and my legs and stood straight up on the top of the pole. I had a moment to enjoy a bird’s eye view of the ocean before diving head first toward the swinging trapeze bar which hung six feet in front of me. It was exhilarating to say the least.

I also really wanted swim the half mile across the lagoon with Tony, but I was late and everyone was gone when I arrived. I looked at the murky water, jumped in, and began swimming across the lagoon. Gung ho!

About halfway across, I freaked out. The water was dark, my arms were getting tired and I was alone in the lagoon. The original adrenaline rush I’d had when I plunged in was gone and the shore seemed a long, long way off. I’d never swum this length before and was unprepared for the onslaught of panic that filled me. I began thinking about how people drown, not because they can’t swim, but because they freak out. Here I was in deep waters, freaking out. I had to get control of my mind and start focusing on getting my limbs moving forward. I just kept telling myself “just focus on what’s in front of you.” Little by little, I got myself across the lagoon and on to dry land. What a relief!

Not one to let an experience go by, I began to examine what had happened.

When we begin something new, like Frodo and the others preparing for their journey in Lord of the Ringscourage3, we are excited and optimistic. We may be nervous too, but there’s a sort of bravado and naiveté about what we will meet on the path. In the beginning we are fueled by adrenaline and by the novelty of our new adventure. But once we’ve said goodbye and left the Shire or dry land, and have begun our proverbial journey, we begin to meet with obstacles and adversaries that attempt to thwart, even destroy us, our creative projects/business endeavors/missions.

Sometimes those adversaries are external and come in the form of naysayers, family or friends who deem us foolish, or rejections from agents, publishers, art critics, lending institutions, etc. Sometimes they come in the form of sirens, those people who distract us from our purpose, and sometimes those adversaries are our own inner demons that come out and scare the hell out of us.

Yes, our own inner demons that tell us we’re not going to make it, that we are failures, or that we should just give up. Those internal critics challenge our audacity to think that we could ever be successful musicians, artists, actors, writers, entrepreneurs, healers, parents, etc. Often times these demons come out when we have left the comforts of shore or the shire, when we have made major decisions, and have gone too far to turn back. These inner or outer voices of doom and gloom can absolutely paralyze us, cut us off at our knees, and keep us from moving forward.

This is the time where we’ve got to turn to faith, to trust the process even more, and especially in the absence of proof or evidence. We must muster a deeper inner knowing that we are totally guided and totally supported by this friendly Universe that doesn’t want us to sink. The Universe wants us to continue reaching for our dreams, to continue to move forward. We must trust that we will reach the shore, that we will realize our dreams as long as we keep dreaming them and keep moving towards them.

This is not an easy process! There’s a saying in Alcoholics Anonymous, “Don’t give up five minutes before the miracle.” There’s another saying, “It’s always darkest, before the dawn.”

Don’t lost faith. Don’t give up on your journey of the courageous heart. Trust in the perfect unfolding of your life, knowing that when you choose to follow your heart, to listen to your inner calling, you will step into the divine flow, get your miracle, and the sun will rise and shine on your life again.

 

The Language of Love and Spiritual Partnership

DavinaKotulski2015-0388_WebRelationships, sometimes we live with them, sometimes we live without them.

We don’t just want a relationship; we want a happy one, a healthy one. We want to feel loved, understood, and cared for and we want our partner to feel loved, understood and cared for. Unfortunately our intention to be good at something doesn’t translate to skill, if it did, a lot of us would be rock stars and rappers, triple lutzers and amazing dancers, and I would personally speak Italian, Spanish, and about three other languages fluently. If we want our intentions to translate to real skill, to effective communication, then we must actually study what improves communication in relationships and then do our homework.

I know I’m starting to get tangential here, so I’m going to bring it back to my point. Couples and individuals come to me all the time for counseling or coaching because their relationships are falling apart and neither partner feels loved or appreciated.  Some of these relationships may truly be dead on the vine for various reasons and remaining in the relationship may not serve the highest good of one or both of the partners, which I will discuss more below. However, some relationships can come back to life with a major love infusion and some ground rules for communication.

CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION

When couples work with me I ask them to get at least one copy of the book Why Marriages Succeed or Fail by psychologist John Gottman. I love this book because it outlines right away the communication styles that couples can choose to engage in that will show respect for their spouse/partner and those communication styles that must be changed or the relationship is doomed to fail.

Years ago I wrote about the 4 Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse that Gottman discusses in his book when my own marriage was on the rocks. While that marriage ultimately did not last, my former spouse and me found the book extremely useful and we were able to significantly improve our communication with one another, which gave us several more years to grow together. For other individuals, improved respect and communication may be just what they need to facilitate a conscious uncoupling, which is it’s own form of success in the case of divorce or dissolution.

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

Recently I picked up a copy of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Chapman identifies 5 ways people feel loved and communicate love. Each one of us has a primary love language or way we feel most loved by our sweethearts or spouses. When our partners speak our primary love language to us and we speak theirs to them everyone wins! In his words, our love tanks are filled.

The Five Love Languages are:5-love-languages

1. Quality Time

2. Acts of Service

3. Physical Touch

4. Gift Giving

5. Words of Affirmation

Chapman’s book gives several case examples of how common it is for a spouse to communicate their love in one language, but not in the language that the other spouse feels the most loved, which often leaves both partners feeling unappreciated. Of course we don’t just want our lovers to speak one dialect. It’s most romantic when our lovers speak several or all of the love languages to us at some time. Likewise if we want to be fluent in the language of love the more dialects we speak to our lovers the more appreciated they will feel. Chapman includes a quiz in the book to help you identify what your primary love language is and explains how to speak all five.

I’m now recommending this book to all of my clients in relationships, even the same-sex couples I work with, though unfortunately the book never mentions same-sex couples and much to my annoyance uses the clinical term “sexual intercourse” instead of just saying “sex” or “love-making” revealing the author’s conservative background and quite possibly a propensity to be limited to the missionary position. Okay, enough about that.

SPIRITUAL PARTNERSHIP

To be clear, not all relationships will last until death do us part, nor should they.  Some relationships will spring back to life or get out of the marital rapids with improved communication skills and filled love tanks. Yeah for those couples that are willing to do the work, have a new skill set and do ride off into the sunset and live happily-ever-after. Other individuals may have fulfilled their spiritual contracts with one another and find that it’s time to make a new covenant so to speak. This is especially true for conscious people on the spiritual path whose commitment to their spiritual growth and their relationship with God takes precedence over all other commitments. Yes, there are quite a few of us odd ducks out there.

Gary Zukav’s book Spiritual PartnershipThe Seat of the Soul and his book Spiritual Partnership both discuss the importance of being true to one’s spiritual path and explores the notion that some marriages are also spiritual partnerships, while others are not. Some marriages may begin that way but relationship dynamics can change. Additionally, as individuals wake up spiritually they may realize that the marriage is not in alignment with their spiritual growth and unfoldment. For individuals who are on the spiritual path it is better to dissolve a marriage/relationship that stymies one or both partner’s spiritual growth and development, rather than remain in that marriage/relationship if the partners cannot shift the dynamics.

This is not an easy thing to hear and some people might disagree and argue that people should stay married no matter what. Certainly if that’s in alignment with one’s spiritual belief system and their spouse’s beliefs than I would encourage that couple to get lots of support to find a way to make it work. However, if we’re talking about someone putting their belief system on another person’s relationship I would kindly say, “mind your own business.” We can never know what another person’s destiny is, their spiritual path and contracts, or what Spirit has in mind for them. I would invite that judgmental busybody to keep her/his limited human mind and opinions to themselves.

TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE

For those individuals who find themselves at odds with their own value system with regard to their marriage and spiritual path, or really afraid of being judged by being true to themselves by releasing a marriage or relationship that no longer supports their health, well-being, and spiritual growth, I would quote Shakespeare to them “To Thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

I would also advise them to surround themselves with supportive friends and get professional support like a life coach, therapist or spiritual counselor, someone who can help empower them in consciously moving forward in a way that is loving to themselves and to the partner they are uncoupling with.  There are many great resources out there for couples or individuals who want to mindfully/consciously uncouple.

For those of you who are not in a relationship right now but want one or want to find ways to feel loved now or attract more love into your life, Chapman has a book called The 5 Love Languages for Singles and you can also pick up Arielle Ford’s book The Soul Mate Secret about how to clean up the past to make room for your beloved.

If you feel like a relationship is the last thing in the world you want or if you want to be a better lover of yourself (Yeah Baby!)–Check out the transformational book Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant. It’s really a great little book about self-love and self-acceptance. It’s really true, you’ve gotta love yourself first.

And speaking of love, have I told you lately how much I love and appreciate you for all the ways you show your love and support to me. When I have my down days, I feel into you my powerful network of friends, clients, students, readers, collaborators, and colleagues who I get to share this journey with. Thank you!!!!

Wishing you all a love-filled, joy-filled 2016!

XOXOX

Davina

 

 

Happy Summer Solstice! My California Summer Adventure

This is a powerful time to step into the light and out of the shadows. This is a perfect time for play, joy, personal transformation and self-love.

I love the summer. For me it’s a time to get out of my routine and connect with nature. I love to go to the beach, take hikes, go camping, and enjoy being alive.

That was not always the case. There were times in my life where my schedule belonged to everyone else. Those times were heartbreaking.  Literally, I felt my heart breaking because I was not being true to myself.

I don’t live that way anymore. Now, I follow my heart and let the Universe support me. It sounds corny. I know it does. It sounds corny to me too, yet it’s such a powerful and satisfying way to live.

Lao Tzu the ancient Chinese mystic who preceded Jesus and Buddha talked about The Way living life in harmony with nature and following the heart’s guidance. It’s called the Tao Te Ching. My mentor, Wayne Dyer, talks about the Tao in his book Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.

Another way I understand this is that I am walking the path of the mystic. Walking the path of the mystic means that I am willing to get still and listen to my inner guidance. It means meditation is a part of my daily life to clear the clutter of the world from my brain. It means that I get to let everyone else’s ideas of what my life should look like go. I get to be free!

As you know, we’re constantly getting bombarded with other people’s agendas for us. We’re brainwashed on what to eat, what to buy, what soap to use, how to view our bodies, and more.  By tapping into our inner voice we can begin to get into the flow of life, into our natural, organic self-expression. When I do this my life is exponentially more satisfying. I am living more authentically, authoring my own life.

Walking the path of the mystic also means being in the present moment and allowing our actions to be directed from a place of centered, grounded inner knowing. I always make better choices from this place and my life works together in perfect synchronicity when I do. I get to trust that what I need will be there for me every day, rather than spending time worrying about the future or the past. It also means prioritizing my self-care, something we really lack in this fast paced, low touch, high tech world.

If this appeals to you I invite you to check out my upcoming speaking events and the LIVE workshops I’m co-facilitating with Dr. Rev. Joan Steadman, former Spiritual Leader of the Oakland Center for Spiritual Living.

Davina’s California Summer Speaking Events and Live Workshops:

Celebrating Our Diversity -LGBT Diversity Program

USP Atwater Atwater, CA

Friday June 25th, 2:00 PM

 

Meditation in the Salt Cave

The Salt Studio in Pasadena, CA

Sunday July 18th, 6:00 PM

Reserve your spot online: http://tinyurl.com/nmhut23

 

Past Life Group Regression Session

Salt Studio-Pasadena

Monday July 27th, 7:00 PM

Reserve your spot online: http://tinyurl.com/nmhut23

 

Tapping into You Inner Knowing!

The Launching Pad, Berkeley, CA

Friday July 31st, 7:00 PM

 

A Day of Self-Love: Honoring the Human and Divine Workshop

Oakland, CA

Saturday August 1st, 9:30-4:00 PM

More info below.

 

Metaphysics and Mysticism

Unity Ukiah,

Sunday August 2nd, 9: 30 AM

Walking the Path of the Mystic: Awaken Your Inner Mystic Workshop

Unity Ukiah,

August 2nd, 12: 30 PM-3:30 PM

 

Have a wonderful summer!

Much love to you,

Davina

 

A Day of Self-Love: Honoring the Human and Divine Workshop 
Treat yourself to a day of self-honoring exercises, visioning, meditation, fun and connection!
We have an exciting day lined up for you!
Join Rev. Joan Steadman and Dr. Davina Kotulski, Ph.D. Author and Life Coach for a day honoring mind/body/spirit.
  • Davina will lead a group past life regression.
  •  Rev. Joan will lead self-care and self-honoring exercises.
  •  We will meditate, do a visioning for your spiritual unfoldment, and discuss any current twists and turns on your spiritual path.
  •  You will have a wonder-filled day of delving deeper into you!

Click here to register now for Early Bird Special!

Early Bird Special Ends July 15th–Limited Space-Register Now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Walking the Path of the Mystic: Awaken Your Inner Mystic Workshop 
Join Dr. Rev. Joan Steadman and Dr. Davina Kotulski for a 3 hour mystical workshop where you will: * Tap into your Divine knowing and learn how to awaken your inner mystic.
* Access the inner wisdom that guides us in our spiritual transformation.
*Explore the laws of manifestation from the metaphysical and the mystical perspectives.
–Early Bird Special $35
–Price $50 at the door.
Early Bird Special Ends July 16th–Limited Space-Register Now!
Davina Kotulski

Have you had an NDE? A not-doing-enough experience!

“I just feel like I’m not doing enough.”

These are words I often hear from my coaching clients, usually the ones who are doing a lot (raising great kids, running their own businesses, involved in wonderful creative projects, volunteering and being of service, having incredible successes at work). Somehow there’s a disconnect between their amazing accomplishments and their sense of worthiness and awesomeness.

Only this time it wasn’t a client saying these things. To my horror, the words we’re coming out of my mouth! I was having an NDE- a Not-Doing-Enough experience! I was bemoaning my sense of lack of accomplishment to a colleague of mine. It’s a good thing it was a phone call, because she might have pimp-slapped me if we were in person. There I was stuck in old-paradigm thinking. It really had a hold on me.

Ever had an NDE_

I was annoyed with myself! I know better and she knew I knew better. Quantity is not quality. We live in a quantum field where things happen exponentially, not linearly. And more than that, I know that my worthiness is not equivalent to my busy-ness. I know that that B.S. (belief system) is a conditioned belief of the capitalist culture I was born into. It’s an ugly by-product of free market thinking. Yuck!

Still there I was, stuck in the muck of not enough-ness thinking. Not to mention that even if I used that old paradigm thinking and the old school formula I could prove it was total crap. If I did the math, so to speak, I could rationally conclude that I was doing great. I’d just booked four new creative and talented clients whose goals and projects I am totally delighted to support and who are already sharing with me how empowering the coaching or counseling sessions are for them. I had also just started co-leading a spiritual workshop with my mentor. Heck, even a year ago I would have been thrilled just to be in a class of this type with my mentor, let alone getting paid to work collaboratively with my mentor, co-leading a fantastic class where I get to connect and support a diverse group of men and women across the country who are committed to walking their spiritual path. Yes, I was also experiencing HIBS! Hole-in-the-bucket syndrome. Ever had that?

It’s a horrible syndrome where all your good leaks out a hole of not-enoughness in your bucket. Total absurdity!

My friend asked me if I saw her and our colleagues as “lazy” or “not doing enough.”

“Not at all,” I said, realizing I had a nasty double-standard for myself and showing again that we often are the hardest on ourselves. I had slipped and fallen into that old paradigm of feeling I needed to justify my worthiness with busy-ness! Doh!

And the silliest thing was that it was brought on by having an extra day off where I didn’t have to do anything or be anywhere for a few hours. I had free time to read, write, go for a walk, or sip a cup of coffee at a café. I had spent years working 60 plus hour work weeks and I’ve designed a life where I never have to do that again  and yet, some part of me couldn’t handle the luxury I had created for myself. The free time had evoked a feeling of free-floating anxiety. I was living the dream and I had to undercut my joy by making myself wrong. It was suddenly clear that I still had to work to unlink busy-ness with worthiness. Darn it!

Perhaps you are still under the influence of this stinking thinking too and want/need to clear this old paradigm thinking so you can experience more joy and fulfillment in your life. (Reminds me of my friend and colleague, Suzanne Falter-Barnes’ book, How much joy can you stand?)

If you suffer from NDE and HIBS let me remind you as I remind myself. I am inherently worthy. You are inherently worthy! Your worth is not linked to how many appointments you have in your calendar, your net worth, the number of FB friends or fans you have, the number of books you’ve written, published, or sold, the number of IMDB credits you have or scripts you’ve sold, the number of sales you’ve made, your twitter or Instagram followers, how pinteresting you are, the # of houses you own, the # on your scale, how tight your abs or gluts are, how many marathons you’ve run, how many letters or degrees you have after your name, the number of golden globes or awards you’ve won, or even your kids GPA, etc. etc.

We are worthy! As is! Our lives matter! We don’t have to be better than. We don’t have to prove anything. That’s a hell of a trap! We don’t have to be good or good enough. We simply are!

Yes, we are bombarded with commercials and other messages that would make us think we stink and need fixing, but the truth is we don’t. We are perfect, whole, Divine beings and we don’t need to buy into race consciousness or consumer manipulated notions of lack and limitation. We don’t need to succumb to the ego mind that tells us we are not enough so that we will go outside ourselves to try to fill the insatiable empty ghost with food, booze, sex, relationships, drugs, pharmaceuticals, shopping sprees and other addictive, thrill-seeking behaviors, or even the socially acceptable workaholism.

As George Clooney told the applauding audience as he received his award, “you may as well stop clapping, it will never be enough.” Truer words were never spoken. When we are hooked into our worth coming from the outside it will never be enough.

So, today I recognize and remind myself that I am inherently worthy, nothing to do, nothing to be, nothing to prove, nothing to strive for. I AM and that is more than enough.

#Loveyourself #Iamworthy #Nothingtoprove #Courageousheart