Personal Content

Lately, I’ve been so thankful for the people who are willing to share deeply personal content on Youtube.

I don’t mean drama. I don’t mean for attention either. I mean people who are willing to put themselves out there and discuss embarrassing topics so that other people can learn.

Okay, so here goes. I’m in peri-menopause.

That time in a female-bodied person’s life when they experience a cessation of menses and lots of hormonal changes that impact almost every area of their lives.

The cessation of hormones associated with menopause leads to sleep disturbances, horrible night sweats, (not night sweets which could be delicious but also impact other problems), like weight gain. Metabolism slows down. It reeeeeaaaaaaallllllly slows down!

Then there are the hot flashes, constipation, a need to pee frequently (like pregnant women), depression, irritation, vaginal dryness (which also leads to irritation), changes in ability to orgasm (which leads to even more irritation and depression), memory challenges (what was I saying again)….well, you get the drift.

Now instead of watching Netflix or reading a book when I have a moment to myself, I’m watching Youtube videos on dealing with constipation and learning how to do Kegel exercises. Fun times!

When I’m at my best I can laugh at this phase of life.

However, there are times when all these changes, coupled with my eyesight becoming poorer, overwhelm me and I seriously just want to cry and stay in my room where I can privately practice my Kegels.

I don’t know how the generation of women before me kept all of this on the down low. This phase of life sucks. Maybe it wasn’t as bad in the past. I don’t know. All I know, is that I’m grateful that so many people are not keeping these challenges on the down low.

Quite the opposite.

They are posting their solutions to these challenges on Youtube.  

I want to commend these individuals for being brave, bold, audacious in the name of helping others.

While I consider myself all of the above, there are certain topics, like all those above, that I still find embarrassing. These folks courage, gave me the courage to write this blog.

I hope this will also empower you to seek out the answers to the questions you have and to open up discussions. Reach out and share. Let’s not suffer in silence. Let’s empower one another.

One of my favorite videos that followed a video on colon health, was this guy giving advice to newbie gay men on how to care for and groom themselves. This might be offensive to some, but I was really struck by how much care this guy was giving to addressing personal, and perhaps embarrassing, content so these newbies could have a good experience. It was so sweet (and BRAVE!)

Here are some links to some of my favorites which will be especially helpful for the new moms, “women in that phase of life,” and anyone who is feeling a little backed up.

They’re all rated PG.

The More You Know….

12 Things Your Stool Can Tell You About Your Health

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9LTXO00aYY

The adorable Niki Sky in her flannel pajamas walks you through her toilet tricks in 9 Constipation Health Hacks That Really Work!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEMHwH2Kscg

How to do Kegel Exercises to Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfmWkHSOi7U

Kegel Exercises Made Easy–This one is tailored to new moms who are dealing with incontinence. I just loved how sweet this lady was and how comfortable she was sharing these tips with other moms. Brave, I’m telling you!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsFCURytU_8

Get Out of Town!

A few weeks ago I covered the windows of my home with blankets to keep the blazing summer sun out. L.A. in the summer is a concrete jungle and last week it was 112 in Los Angeles.

It got so hot the leaves burned and died on the trees. The ground was covered with dead leaves. It’s times like these I need to get out of town and get back to nature.

Being in nature is healing and helps us get back to our essence. We find ourselves feeling grounded in nature, calmer in nature, and more in touch with out authentic core in nature. Perhaps this is because nature has a timeless element.

Personally, I feel happiest and most alive in nature.

The ocean provides comforting rhythms as the tides roll in and out as they’ve been doing for thousands of years.

Mountain peaks and ancient forests give a sense of something greater than ourselves and the depressing news headlines of the day.

The smell of pine needles and the trickle of water from creeks or the rush of water as it flows down a river can lull us into a sweet peace. Many of us are able to relax and breathe easier in the wilds of nature, than in the controlled chaos of urban environments.

One reason for this is that the air in the mountains, at the beach, or near waterfalls also is filled with negative ions, odorless, tasteless molecules, that according to health writer, Denise Mann, are thought to “produce biochemical reactions that increase levels of the mood chemical serotonin, helping to alleviate depression, relieve stress, and boost our daytime energy.” [1] Thus, we can retreat to nature, with its anti-depressant qualities, to sort out what’s really important in our lives and allow ourselves to connect with our untamed hearts.

There are many reasons we feel calmer in natural settings. Nature is beautiful. Natural landscapes are easy on the eyes. The verdant green of the plants and trees, the colorful swatches of flowers, the healing energy in the rocks, and the glistening water makes us feel good. We experience the perfection of the Divine creation which can help us remember our own perfection. We also tend to slow down in nature and begin tapping into our own natural rhythms and pace.

If you’re feeling disconnected from yourself take a minimum of at least thirty minutes in a natural setting, preferably one that has a maximum of nature and a minimum of other people.

If you are in a time of serious soul searching or at a crossroads and need to make some big decisions, spend some significant time in nature. This will allow you to come back to yourself and get clarity on any challenges you are facing and make more grounded decisions.

[1] Negative Ions Create Positive Vibes, Denise Mann, WebMD

 

Be ridiculous!

No one had ever walked on the moon until Neil Armstrong did in 1969 changing how we viewed the world.

The idea of female astronauts seemed ridiculous to many people until Sally Ride traveled into space in 1983. Nine years later, Mae Jemison, became the first African American female astronaut to travel into space and work on the Space Lab. She says, “The best way to make dreams come true is to wake up.”

Are you ready to wake up and make your dreams come true?

Many people don’t go after their dreams because they give reality too much credit.

What do I mean?

Reality is a construct. It’s a limitation we put on ourselves.

No one imagined anyone could run a mile in 4 minutes until Roger Bannister did. Since Bannister accomplished this feat, thousands of other male runners have followed in Bannister’s footsteps. The current world record holder is Hicham el Guerouj who ran a mile in 3:43 minutes proving that existing limits can be broken.

Many people said they never imagined they’d see marriage equality in their lifetimes. I would say it was just that lack of imagination that slowed down the process. In the 1970s several same-sex couples began asking for marriage licenses at county clerk’s offices and filing law suits for the right to marry. However, it wasn’t until June 2015 that the United States Supreme Court finally ruled that same-sex couples had a constitutional right to marry. Why? Because it took that long for a majority of people to be able to see it as a reality.

As you may know, I was a passionate advocate for marriage equality. It was a dream of mine I was committed to bringing to life. I envisioned a world where LGBTQ people had the same right to the American dream as everyone else. The right to marry and have a family of their own creation. I was willing to work for that dream and help people envision that dream coming true.

When we envision creating something new in our lives or in the world and we work towards it we are creating with the Universe.

Our ability to imagine, believe and think outside the box of reality is what allows us to shift our perceptions of what’s possible and to shift the world!

Your dreams are important!

What dreams do you want to see come true?

Do you want to find love? Travel to other continents? Write a book? Start a business? Create a family? Retire early? Move to another city? Embark on a new career?

Don’t get caught up in the obstacles. Yes, there will be obstacles, but be unstoppable.

How?

  • Be willing to be ridiculous!
  • Be Bold
  • Dream big!
  • Have fun!
  • Believe in yourself.
  • Believe that your dreams can come true.
  • Be flexible.
  • Don’t give up.
  • Find someone whose made that dream come true?
  • Find someone whose succeeded in a similar venture?
  • Keep seeing your dreams come true. Visualize it.
  • Share your dreams with those who believe in you too!
  • Take the steps needed to move in the direction of your dreams.
  • Be ridiculous, audacious, brave and courageous!
  • Follow Your Heart!