Hey Beautiful! Yes, I’m talking to you!

Happy Pride!  It’s time to celebrate our diversity!

When we are proud of who we are, and the beautiful beings Spirit created us to be, not only are we fabulous, we are irresistible!That’s right whatever our sexual orientation, gender, race, color, creed, body size or shape, we are beautiful and equally worthy of life’s goodness.

So, take pride in your unique beauty and the way you light up the world with your unique gifts, talents and essence.

This isn’t always easy. I know. As a gender diverse individual, I sometimes fall prey to comparing myself to others and struggle with recognizing my own unique beauty too. Times like these I have to stop and turn down the volume on that mean 8th grade girl that lives in my head and judges me and turn the self-love up.

And please don’t waste your time resisting other people’s judgement or nastiness, because what we resist persists. Instead, just tune into your self-love and pump up the volume. Take pride in you!

Below you will find links to my interviews on Understanding LGBTQ and Coming Out and the recent advances for same-sex Marriage in Taiwan with Apple Daily, an International Chinese Media Outlet reaching thousands of Chinese people around the world!
xoxo
Davina

Congratulations Taiwan!

 

 

The Courage to Be the Author of Your Life

The Courage to Be the Author of Your Life

When I was in classes to become a New Thought/Science of Mind spiritual practitioner one of our assignments was to write our eulogy and perform our memorial service. It was a powerful exercise as we were being asked to consider our legacy, how we wanted to be remembered, and the memories we wanted to leave behind. We were reminded that we were ultimately authoring our lives or what was left of it and we had important choices to make.

It was a beautiful opportunity to gain clarity on what really mattered to us and to touch the courage we needed to make a commitment to get our lives in alignment with our higher selves.

Time flies by quickly.

Like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end the faster it goes. If we are not intentionally designing our life, some asshole is going to take the duration of our years and unceremoniously flush them down the toilet. Do you want that?

If you don’t want that, you must choose to become the author of your life. You must courageously step up and away from the TV, Facebook, dysfunctional friend or family member, or whatever mind-numbing time suck you lose yourself in and decide what direction you want to take your life.

If your life was a book what genre would it be? Comedy, Drama, Tragic Comedy, Romance, True Crime, Inspirational?

What kind of book do you want your life to be?

Where does your heroine/hero want to go? What does s/he want to do? What difference does s/he want to make in her/his life and the lives of others? What obstacles does s/he need to overcome? Why should we root for this person?

You matter. Your life matters. It’s time to stop playing small and letting life happen to you. It’s time to be courageous and become the author of your life.

There are many ways to be courageous.

Being true to yourself.

Following your dreams.

Helping others.

Making a difference in the world.

Doing something new.

Walking your authentic path.

Expressing yourself and your individuality.

How will you be courageous in 2017?

Check out my new program Follow your Courageous Heart: A 90 Day Journey Beyond Fear to Fulfillment. 

 

be-the-author-of-your-life be-the-author-of-your-life

What makes a person courageous?

What makes a person courageous?

 

A courageous person goes against the stream. Unlike a rebel who is simply defiant, a courageous person goes against the stream because they have a higher purpose.

Oprah Winfrey revolutionized TV talk shows by focusing on literature, self-improvement, and spirituality to empower audiences.

A courageous person sees possibilities where others don’t.how-will-you-be-courageous-in-2017_

Steve Jobs saw possibilities others didn’t see and revolutionized the computer world.

A courageous person treads where others fear to tread. It doesn’t mean that a courageous person doesn’t feel fear. It means that they don’t let fear stop them.

Ellen DeGeneres created a show that had an openly gay character. Ellen was the first openly gay actor to play an openly gay character.

A courageous person doesn’t let social convention stop them. They courageously express themselves in ways that are authentic to them.

Prince and David Bowie are two examples of men who expressed themselves in ways that were outside of social convention. They both had innovative musical styles.

A courageous person works to make changes in laws when they see something wrong. 

Nelson Mandela had the courage to fight against the unjust system of apartheid. He was sent to prison for 20 years and during that time he says he was preparing to lead his country, which he did. He became the president of South Africa, when he was released two decades later.

Mandela said, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.:

Erin Brockovich, a legal clerk, works to hold corporations accountable for their pollutants and helped win one of the largest lawsuits against PGE for polluting the drinking water of residents in a Southern California town.

A courageous person stands up for the rights of others.

Chiune Sugihara, a Japanese diplomat in Lithuania, helped 6,000 Jews escape from Lithuania during the holocaust by personally writing exit visas violating orders from Tokyo.

Harriet Tubman, a runaway slave, returned to help thousands of other slaves through the Underground Railroad escape to freedom.

A courageous person stands up for themselves and thus help others like them who are being treated unfairly.

People like Martin Luther King, Jr., Harvey Milk, Cesar Chavez, Dolores Huerta, and Rosa Parks.

A courageous person goes after their dreams.

Malala Yousafzai a young Pakistani woman continued going to school after receiving death threats. She survived an attack on her life and continues to speak out for girls to have an equal right to education.

A courageous person believes in themselves and puts in the time to make their dreams come true.

At twelve years old, Muhammad Ali began training as a boxer. He dreamed of being a world champion and he become one. He said, “Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it.”

There are many ways to be courageous. How will you be courageous in 2017?

Check out my free call 7 Steps to Move Beyond Fear and Courageously Live the Life of Your Dreams

The Courage to Change The Things We Can

god-grant-me-the“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I carry this prayer in my wallet and sometimes I actually remember to look at it. I was first introduced to this prayer in my teenage years when I chose a clean and sober lifestyle. In twelve step meetings we always prayed out with the Serenity Prayer.

This prayer is a powerful reminder that some aspects of life are out of control and we must surrender and let them be, rather than trying to make them be a certain way. However there are many things in our lives that we do have agency over.

We all have the ability to change our thoughts, our words, and our actions and yes, even our circumstances. We just need to connect to this truth and find the courage to make changes.

How do we find the courage?

What’s helped me tap my courage is to find someone who has done what I want to do or to find others who are in the process of making similar changes in their lives.

When I wanted to get sober I got a sponsor and attended meetings with other people who were choosing a healthier lifestyle.

When I’ve had to muster the courage to take bigger leaps in my own life, I’ve hired my own life coach, therapist and spiritual counselor. I practice what I preach. I believe it’s very important for people who coach or counsel others to also be engaged in their own personal growth work and get support. In fact, I’m sort of suspicious of people who don’t.

I’ve also found that prayer, positive affirmations, and talking with a trusted friend are powerful ways to tap into courage.

My clients often remark that in our work together they are able to move through fear, self-doubt and negative thinking and make important changes in their lives. They say that working with me as their coach has allowed them to “light a fire under their butt” or that working together allowed them to push through blocks that previously stopped them.

I get it. When I wanted to get in shape I joined a gym and attended exercise classes and boot camp. Having a coach or a trainer to encourage and push me kept me going on days when I was tired and I wanted to quit.

I love surprising myself and moving past my own fears and perceived limitations and I love to help other people move beyond their fears and find fulfillment they didn’t know was possible.

While some things are truly out of hands, everyday we get to make a choice to be courageous about the things we can change. Will we choose to go after our dreams? Will we choose to live our lives authentically? Will we choose to address our mental blocks and negative thoughts that hold us back? Will we choose to make lifestyle changes that allow us to be healthy, strong, and vibrant? Will we choose to end unhealthy patterns of relating?

Today let us pray for the courage to change the things we can.

Check out my free call 7 Steps to Move Beyond Fear and Courageously Live the Life of Your Dreams

Be a visionary, not a victim.

As we get ready to cross the threshold from 2016 to 2017 I invite you to begin this new cycle from a place of inspiration, not desperation, a place of courage, not fear, a place of love, not hate.

Sure, they are real challenges ahead, some external like politicians and people’s cherished prejudices, physical illnesses, and financial situations that we must absolutely deal with. But let us not cower in the presence of these obstacles.happynewyear-2017-gif-happynewyear2017orgin-17

We must deal with our internal challenges that trip us up. We must face and erase our doubts, fears, and worries. Let us grow even bigger than our fears. Let us rise to the occasion and find ways to inspire ourselves and others. Let us be solution focused, rather than problem-obsessed. Let us be resourceful and creative, rather than depressed and resigned. Let us find the very best in ourselves and others.

Let us begin again from a place of enthusiasm that we are alive at a time where we are being asked to lead, not be sheeple, where we are being to asked to love and bring something better to the generations to come.

This is a new cycle where we can flourish, not flounder. Where we can assert with greater clarity our commitment to diversity, equality, environmentalism, freedom, cooperation, sharing, and all that really matters to us. We are not minions.

Rise up with great love and determination in your heart. Rise up with a ferocious commitment to create a world of peace and sister/brotherhood.

Don’t simply focus on what you don’t want or your fear of what could happen.

Envision a world you’re proud of. Be a visionary, not a victim. Begin within by creating yourself and your life in a way that brings you joy and happiness. This is where your strength resides.

Be Courageous!

I love you and wish you a very Happy New Year!

Dr. Davina

Just Keep Swimming!

In September 2000, I attended Tony Robbins’ Life Mastery Workshop in Hawaii. I climbed the 40 foot tall pole, gathered up my courage and my legs and stood straight up on the top of the pole. I had a moment to enjoy a bird’s eye view of the ocean before diving head first toward the swinging trapeze bar which hung six feet in front of me. It was exhilarating to say the least.

I also really wanted swim the half mile across the lagoon with Tony, but I was late and everyone was gone when I arrived. I looked at the murky water, jumped in, and began swimming across the lagoon. Gung ho!

About halfway across, I freaked out. The water was dark, my arms were getting tired and I was alone in the lagoon. The original adrenaline rush I’d had when I plunged in was gone and the shore seemed a long, long way off. I’d never swum this length before and was unprepared for the onslaught of panic that filled me. I began thinking about how people drown, not because they can’t swim, but because they freak out. Here I was in deep waters, freaking out. I had to get control of my mind and start focusing on getting my limbs moving forward. I just kept telling myself “just focus on what’s in front of you.” Little by little, I got myself across the lagoon and on to dry land. What a relief!

Not one to let an experience go by, I began to examine what had happened.

When we begin something new, like Frodo and the others preparing for their journey in Lord of the Ringscourage3, we are excited and optimistic. We may be nervous too, but there’s a sort of bravado and naiveté about what we will meet on the path. In the beginning we are fueled by adrenaline and by the novelty of our new adventure. But once we’ve said goodbye and left the Shire or dry land, and have begun our proverbial journey, we begin to meet with obstacles and adversaries that attempt to thwart, even destroy us, our creative projects/business endeavors/missions.

Sometimes those adversaries are external and come in the form of naysayers, family or friends who deem us foolish, or rejections from agents, publishers, art critics, lending institutions, etc. Sometimes they come in the form of sirens, those people who distract us from our purpose, and sometimes those adversaries are our own inner demons that come out and scare the hell out of us.

Yes, our own inner demons that tell us we’re not going to make it, that we are failures, or that we should just give up. Those internal critics challenge our audacity to think that we could ever be successful musicians, artists, actors, writers, entrepreneurs, healers, parents, etc. Often times these demons come out when we have left the comforts of shore or the shire, when we have made major decisions, and have gone too far to turn back. These inner or outer voices of doom and gloom can absolutely paralyze us, cut us off at our knees, and keep us from moving forward.

This is the time where we’ve got to turn to faith, to trust the process even more, and especially in the absence of proof or evidence. We must muster a deeper inner knowing that we are totally guided and totally supported by this friendly Universe that doesn’t want us to sink. The Universe wants us to continue reaching for our dreams, to continue to move forward. We must trust that we will reach the shore, that we will realize our dreams as long as we keep dreaming them and keep moving towards them.

This is not an easy process! There’s a saying in Alcoholics Anonymous, “Don’t give up five minutes before the miracle.” There’s another saying, “It’s always darkest, before the dawn.”

Don’t lost faith. Don’t give up on your journey of the courageous heart. Trust in the perfect unfolding of your life, knowing that when you choose to follow your heart, to listen to your inner calling, you will step into the divine flow, get your miracle, and the sun will rise and shine on your life again.

 

It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!

IMG_7067It’s 2003 at the Los Angeles LGBT Center

Rev. Deborah Johnson tells us to, “Get comfortable and close your eyes.”

I’m lying on the floor with a room full of lawyers, non-profit leaders, grassroots LGBT activists, and LGBT/LGBT friendly clergy collectively known as the California Freedom to Marry Coalition. Thirty of us are gathered together to discuss winning marriage equality for same-sex couples. Same-sex marriage had not yet become a reality in any place in the world, except the Netherlands. It was before Gavin Newsom, before Massachusetts, and even before I began writing my book, Why You Should Give A Damn About Gay Marriage.

Rev. Deborah asks us to imagine what it would be like if we had marriage equality. 

According to the right wing opposition it would mean the decline of Western Civilization as we know it. The end of the patriarchy.

As I lay there with my eyes closed here’s what I saw:

A saw a pink haze and the colors of the rainbow, people smiling, a world of cooperation, a world where everyone was just being themselves. Gender was more fluid. People dressed and expressed themselves as they felt comfortable. The hard and fast rules of what made someone a man or a woman didn’t exist. People were joyful, friendly, open. People mingled together without the segregation we’d always known. Same-sex couples with mixed sex couples. The vision was so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes, though very little of what I saw had anything to do with gay marriage or images of gay marriage.

When I opened my eyes I had a powerful revelation. The right wing opposition was right “gay marriage” would destroy patriarchy and Western civilization as we knew it. For the past 2000 years Western civilization has been based on the subjugation of the feminine and the oppression of large groups of people. Western Civilization has focused on the enslavement or marginalization of the masses to benefit a ruling or elite class. Values of war, more, mine, competition, rape and pillage, colonize and convert, subjugate and exploit the Earth, these are the values that have been at the root of Western Civilization as we’ve known it for the last 2000 years. YUCK!

Gay marriage would be the harbinger of a new world order. Gay marriage would turn the patriarchy on its head. Gay marriage would bring equality between the sexes.  Men openly loving other men. Men who don’t “choose” to have a wife to subjugate. Women who “choose” sexual pleasure with other women, rather than obligation and sexual domination by men.  Heterosexual men and women who choose equality and cooperation over patriarchy.

Yep, that would f…things up pretty big for “Western Civilization” as we’ve known it, a civilization that has supported and encouraged the enslavement of Africans, the annihilation of Indigenous Cultures, the destruction of the soil, the water, the animals and the forests for greed and profit.

Gay marriage would actually be a part of a more loving agenda to honor all people equally, to be more compassionate and caring to Mother Earth and all of God’s creatures, and to celebrating and valuing love. Yep, they were right. I saw it and I got it. I could feel Dr. King’s Beloved Community emerging in that vision. I was in! I wanted a piece of that future.

Flash forward June 27, 2015 the day after the SCOTUS Marriage Equality Ruling

I’m sitting in Dolores Park, in San Francisco’s Mission District, named after the huge Mission Dolores founded in 1776, where 5,000 of indigenous people are buried in unmarked graves, many having died from diseases brought by colonizers and religious converters.

IMG_7066Today the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and almost every patch of green grass is covered with people. On this day, people of all ages, every color, every background, every sexual orientation, and reflecting a wide spectrum of gender and body, gather. They talk, laugh, dance, hug, kiss, drink, eat. They celebrate. They celebrate that the world is brighter on this day. They celebrate being alive. They have come in peace. They are dressed in the colors of the rainbows.  They make a human rainbow of diversity. Nothing to prove today, just being.

 My mind wanders back in time to the Freedom to Marry Coalition meeting in Los Angeles in 2003, to the vision I saw. Tears roll down my cheek as I realize I am living the vision. I am witnessing the beginning of the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

 

Marriage Equality Musings

DavinaKotulski2015-0322_Web - CopyLike most LGBT people and straight allies, I am impatiently waiting the marriage equality decision. (I even sent out a premature celebration email. Whoops!) Unlike most LGBT people it is a truly bittersweet victory.
Cue sad violins.
In June 1998, Molly McKay and I put on wedding garb and got on a motorcycle. I held a sign saying support same sex marriage and she drove. Yep, I was riding backseat butch. I’d asked for a motorcycle when I was a kid and had gotten a horse instead. Not a bad deal.  Anyway, we were congratulated and cheered on and a photo of us ended up on the cover of the SF paper and the rest is history. Literally.
For the next thirteen, from 1998-2011 we worked tirelessly for marriage equality. Me and Molly were the poster couple for marriage equality, until we passed the torch to Stuart and John, who were willing to get up at 4 am to talk to reporters, while I preferred to sleep.
We organized rallies across the U.S. with other dedicated love warriors and we asked for marriage licenses year after year. We marched and celebrated every marriage equality victory in the U.S. and abroad, and we even got arrested at San Francisco City Hall one Valentine’s Day. Then in 2011 we got divorced.
Being part of the gay poster couple and getting divorced is not easy or fun! Our personal lives became public. People felt they had a right to interfere and tell us how to live our lives. It was nasty and intrusive. After having this experience I, like Gweneth Paltrow, am an advocate for conscious uncoupling.
Everyone survived in the end and we can look back on our accomplishments, teamwork, and shared history with pride and gratitude for the opportunities we were given by life to make a positive difference in the world.
I’ve learned a lot from these experiences and one thing I realized is that we, the LGBT community, have put a huge weight on our shoulders by feeling we have to do marriage better than heterosexuals to be worthy of it. We don’t have to do anything to be worthy of our rights or equality.
If our marriages last until the day we die, or until the day something dies within the marriage, it’s all good.
As we get ready to celebrate our equality, my wish is that LGBT folks don’t feel like they have to prove anything and can fully embody and enjoy our right to marry!  I also ask that we lend our support to our global LGBT family and help them secure their rights too!
And on a personal note, it excites me to no end that next time I want to get married I can do it with just one trip to the marriage license counter.
With Pride!
Davina

Happy Summer Solstice! My California Summer Adventure

This is a powerful time to step into the light and out of the shadows. This is a perfect time for play, joy, personal transformation and self-love.

I love the summer. For me it’s a time to get out of my routine and connect with nature. I love to go to the beach, take hikes, go camping, and enjoy being alive.

That was not always the case. There were times in my life where my schedule belonged to everyone else. Those times were heartbreaking.  Literally, I felt my heart breaking because I was not being true to myself.

I don’t live that way anymore. Now, I follow my heart and let the Universe support me. It sounds corny. I know it does. It sounds corny to me too, yet it’s such a powerful and satisfying way to live.

Lao Tzu the ancient Chinese mystic who preceded Jesus and Buddha talked about The Way living life in harmony with nature and following the heart’s guidance. It’s called the Tao Te Ching. My mentor, Wayne Dyer, talks about the Tao in his book Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.

Another way I understand this is that I am walking the path of the mystic. Walking the path of the mystic means that I am willing to get still and listen to my inner guidance. It means meditation is a part of my daily life to clear the clutter of the world from my brain. It means that I get to let everyone else’s ideas of what my life should look like go. I get to be free!

As you know, we’re constantly getting bombarded with other people’s agendas for us. We’re brainwashed on what to eat, what to buy, what soap to use, how to view our bodies, and more.  By tapping into our inner voice we can begin to get into the flow of life, into our natural, organic self-expression. When I do this my life is exponentially more satisfying. I am living more authentically, authoring my own life.

Walking the path of the mystic also means being in the present moment and allowing our actions to be directed from a place of centered, grounded inner knowing. I always make better choices from this place and my life works together in perfect synchronicity when I do. I get to trust that what I need will be there for me every day, rather than spending time worrying about the future or the past. It also means prioritizing my self-care, something we really lack in this fast paced, low touch, high tech world.

If this appeals to you I invite you to check out my upcoming speaking events and the LIVE workshops I’m co-facilitating with Dr. Rev. Joan Steadman, former Spiritual Leader of the Oakland Center for Spiritual Living.

Davina’s California Summer Speaking Events and Live Workshops:

Celebrating Our Diversity -LGBT Diversity Program

USP Atwater Atwater, CA

Friday June 25th, 2:00 PM

 

Meditation in the Salt Cave

The Salt Studio in Pasadena, CA

Sunday July 18th, 6:00 PM

Reserve your spot online: http://tinyurl.com/nmhut23

 

Past Life Group Regression Session

Salt Studio-Pasadena

Monday July 27th, 7:00 PM

Reserve your spot online: http://tinyurl.com/nmhut23

 

Tapping into You Inner Knowing!

The Launching Pad, Berkeley, CA

Friday July 31st, 7:00 PM

 

A Day of Self-Love: Honoring the Human and Divine Workshop

Oakland, CA

Saturday August 1st, 9:30-4:00 PM

More info below.

 

Metaphysics and Mysticism

Unity Ukiah,

Sunday August 2nd, 9: 30 AM

Walking the Path of the Mystic: Awaken Your Inner Mystic Workshop

Unity Ukiah,

August 2nd, 12: 30 PM-3:30 PM

 

Have a wonderful summer!

Much love to you,

Davina

 

A Day of Self-Love: Honoring the Human and Divine Workshop 
Treat yourself to a day of self-honoring exercises, visioning, meditation, fun and connection!
We have an exciting day lined up for you!
Join Rev. Joan Steadman and Dr. Davina Kotulski, Ph.D. Author and Life Coach for a day honoring mind/body/spirit.
  • Davina will lead a group past life regression.
  •  Rev. Joan will lead self-care and self-honoring exercises.
  •  We will meditate, do a visioning for your spiritual unfoldment, and discuss any current twists and turns on your spiritual path.
  •  You will have a wonder-filled day of delving deeper into you!

Click here to register now for Early Bird Special!

Early Bird Special Ends July 15th–Limited Space-Register Now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Walking the Path of the Mystic: Awaken Your Inner Mystic Workshop 
Join Dr. Rev. Joan Steadman and Dr. Davina Kotulski for a 3 hour mystical workshop where you will: * Tap into your Divine knowing and learn how to awaken your inner mystic.
* Access the inner wisdom that guides us in our spiritual transformation.
*Explore the laws of manifestation from the metaphysical and the mystical perspectives.
–Early Bird Special $35
–Price $50 at the door.
Early Bird Special Ends July 16th–Limited Space-Register Now!
Davina Kotulski

Have you had an NDE? A not-doing-enough experience!

“I just feel like I’m not doing enough.”

These are words I often hear from my coaching clients, usually the ones who are doing a lot (raising great kids, running their own businesses, involved in wonderful creative projects, volunteering and being of service, having incredible successes at work). Somehow there’s a disconnect between their amazing accomplishments and their sense of worthiness and awesomeness.

Only this time it wasn’t a client saying these things. To my horror, the words we’re coming out of my mouth! I was having an NDE- a Not-Doing-Enough experience! I was bemoaning my sense of lack of accomplishment to a colleague of mine. It’s a good thing it was a phone call, because she might have pimp-slapped me if we were in person. There I was stuck in old-paradigm thinking. It really had a hold on me.

Ever had an NDE_

I was annoyed with myself! I know better and she knew I knew better. Quantity is not quality. We live in a quantum field where things happen exponentially, not linearly. And more than that, I know that my worthiness is not equivalent to my busy-ness. I know that that B.S. (belief system) is a conditioned belief of the capitalist culture I was born into. It’s an ugly by-product of free market thinking. Yuck!

Still there I was, stuck in the muck of not enough-ness thinking. Not to mention that even if I used that old paradigm thinking and the old school formula I could prove it was total crap. If I did the math, so to speak, I could rationally conclude that I was doing great. I’d just booked four new creative and talented clients whose goals and projects I am totally delighted to support and who are already sharing with me how empowering the coaching or counseling sessions are for them. I had also just started co-leading a spiritual workshop with my mentor. Heck, even a year ago I would have been thrilled just to be in a class of this type with my mentor, let alone getting paid to work collaboratively with my mentor, co-leading a fantastic class where I get to connect and support a diverse group of men and women across the country who are committed to walking their spiritual path. Yes, I was also experiencing HIBS! Hole-in-the-bucket syndrome. Ever had that?

It’s a horrible syndrome where all your good leaks out a hole of not-enoughness in your bucket. Total absurdity!

My friend asked me if I saw her and our colleagues as “lazy” or “not doing enough.”

“Not at all,” I said, realizing I had a nasty double-standard for myself and showing again that we often are the hardest on ourselves. I had slipped and fallen into that old paradigm of feeling I needed to justify my worthiness with busy-ness! Doh!

And the silliest thing was that it was brought on by having an extra day off where I didn’t have to do anything or be anywhere for a few hours. I had free time to read, write, go for a walk, or sip a cup of coffee at a café. I had spent years working 60 plus hour work weeks and I’ve designed a life where I never have to do that again  and yet, some part of me couldn’t handle the luxury I had created for myself. The free time had evoked a feeling of free-floating anxiety. I was living the dream and I had to undercut my joy by making myself wrong. It was suddenly clear that I still had to work to unlink busy-ness with worthiness. Darn it!

Perhaps you are still under the influence of this stinking thinking too and want/need to clear this old paradigm thinking so you can experience more joy and fulfillment in your life. (Reminds me of my friend and colleague, Suzanne Falter-Barnes’ book, How much joy can you stand?)

If you suffer from NDE and HIBS let me remind you as I remind myself. I am inherently worthy. You are inherently worthy! Your worth is not linked to how many appointments you have in your calendar, your net worth, the number of FB friends or fans you have, the number of books you’ve written, published, or sold, the number of IMDB credits you have or scripts you’ve sold, the number of sales you’ve made, your twitter or Instagram followers, how pinteresting you are, the # of houses you own, the # on your scale, how tight your abs or gluts are, how many marathons you’ve run, how many letters or degrees you have after your name, the number of golden globes or awards you’ve won, or even your kids GPA, etc. etc.

We are worthy! As is! Our lives matter! We don’t have to be better than. We don’t have to prove anything. That’s a hell of a trap! We don’t have to be good or good enough. We simply are!

Yes, we are bombarded with commercials and other messages that would make us think we stink and need fixing, but the truth is we don’t. We are perfect, whole, Divine beings and we don’t need to buy into race consciousness or consumer manipulated notions of lack and limitation. We don’t need to succumb to the ego mind that tells us we are not enough so that we will go outside ourselves to try to fill the insatiable empty ghost with food, booze, sex, relationships, drugs, pharmaceuticals, shopping sprees and other addictive, thrill-seeking behaviors, or even the socially acceptable workaholism.

As George Clooney told the applauding audience as he received his award, “you may as well stop clapping, it will never be enough.” Truer words were never spoken. When we are hooked into our worth coming from the outside it will never be enough.

So, today I recognize and remind myself that I am inherently worthy, nothing to do, nothing to be, nothing to prove, nothing to strive for. I AM and that is more than enough.

#Loveyourself #Iamworthy #Nothingtoprove #Courageousheart