Marriage Equality Musings

DavinaKotulski2015-0322_Web - CopyLike most LGBT people and straight allies, I am impatiently waiting the marriage equality decision. (I even sent out a premature celebration email. Whoops!) Unlike most LGBT people it is a truly bittersweet victory.
Cue sad violins.
In June 1998, Molly McKay and I put on wedding garb and got on a motorcycle. I held a sign saying support same sex marriage and she drove. Yep, I was riding backseat butch. I’d asked for a motorcycle when I was a kid and had gotten a horse instead. Not a bad deal.  Anyway, we were congratulated and cheered on and a photo of us ended up on the cover of the SF paper and the rest is history. Literally.
For the next thirteen, from 1998-2011 we worked tirelessly for marriage equality. Me and Molly were the poster couple for marriage equality, until we passed the torch to Stuart and John, who were willing to get up at 4 am to talk to reporters, while I preferred to sleep.
We organized rallies across the U.S. with other dedicated love warriors and we asked for marriage licenses year after year. We marched and celebrated every marriage equality victory in the U.S. and abroad, and we even got arrested at San Francisco City Hall one Valentine’s Day. Then in 2011 we got divorced.
Being part of the gay poster couple and getting divorced is not easy or fun! Our personal lives became public. People felt they had a right to interfere and tell us how to live our lives. It was nasty and intrusive. After having this experience I, like Gweneth Paltrow, am an advocate for conscious uncoupling.
Everyone survived in the end and we can look back on our accomplishments, teamwork, and shared history with pride and gratitude for the opportunities we were given by life to make a positive difference in the world.
I’ve learned a lot from these experiences and one thing I realized is that we, the LGBT community, have put a huge weight on our shoulders by feeling we have to do marriage better than heterosexuals to be worthy of it. We don’t have to do anything to be worthy of our rights or equality.
If our marriages last until the day we die, or until the day something dies within the marriage, it’s all good.
As we get ready to celebrate our equality, my wish is that LGBT folks don’t feel like they have to prove anything and can fully embody and enjoy our right to marry!  I also ask that we lend our support to our global LGBT family and help them secure their rights too!
And on a personal note, it excites me to no end that next time I want to get married I can do it with just one trip to the marriage license counter.
With Pride!
Davina

Happy Summer Solstice! My California Summer Adventure

This is a powerful time to step into the light and out of the shadows. This is a perfect time for play, joy, personal transformation and self-love.

I love the summer. For me it’s a time to get out of my routine and connect with nature. I love to go to the beach, take hikes, go camping, and enjoy being alive.

That was not always the case. There were times in my life where my schedule belonged to everyone else. Those times were heartbreaking.  Literally, I felt my heart breaking because I was not being true to myself.

I don’t live that way anymore. Now, I follow my heart and let the Universe support me. It sounds corny. I know it does. It sounds corny to me too, yet it’s such a powerful and satisfying way to live.

Lao Tzu the ancient Chinese mystic who preceded Jesus and Buddha talked about The Way living life in harmony with nature and following the heart’s guidance. It’s called the Tao Te Ching. My mentor, Wayne Dyer, talks about the Tao in his book Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.

Another way I understand this is that I am walking the path of the mystic. Walking the path of the mystic means that I am willing to get still and listen to my inner guidance. It means meditation is a part of my daily life to clear the clutter of the world from my brain. It means that I get to let everyone else’s ideas of what my life should look like go. I get to be free!

As you know, we’re constantly getting bombarded with other people’s agendas for us. We’re brainwashed on what to eat, what to buy, what soap to use, how to view our bodies, and more.  By tapping into our inner voice we can begin to get into the flow of life, into our natural, organic self-expression. When I do this my life is exponentially more satisfying. I am living more authentically, authoring my own life.

Walking the path of the mystic also means being in the present moment and allowing our actions to be directed from a place of centered, grounded inner knowing. I always make better choices from this place and my life works together in perfect synchronicity when I do. I get to trust that what I need will be there for me every day, rather than spending time worrying about the future or the past. It also means prioritizing my self-care, something we really lack in this fast paced, low touch, high tech world.

If this appeals to you I invite you to check out my upcoming speaking events and the LIVE workshops I’m co-facilitating with Dr. Rev. Joan Steadman, former Spiritual Leader of the Oakland Center for Spiritual Living.

Davina’s California Summer Speaking Events and Live Workshops:

Celebrating Our Diversity -LGBT Diversity Program

USP Atwater Atwater, CA

Friday June 25th, 2:00 PM

 

Meditation in the Salt Cave

The Salt Studio in Pasadena, CA

Sunday July 18th, 6:00 PM

Reserve your spot online: http://tinyurl.com/nmhut23

 

Past Life Group Regression Session

Salt Studio-Pasadena

Monday July 27th, 7:00 PM

Reserve your spot online: http://tinyurl.com/nmhut23

 

Tapping into You Inner Knowing!

The Launching Pad, Berkeley, CA

Friday July 31st, 7:00 PM

 

A Day of Self-Love: Honoring the Human and Divine Workshop

Oakland, CA

Saturday August 1st, 9:30-4:00 PM

More info below.

 

Metaphysics and Mysticism

Unity Ukiah,

Sunday August 2nd, 9: 30 AM

Walking the Path of the Mystic: Awaken Your Inner Mystic Workshop

Unity Ukiah,

August 2nd, 12: 30 PM-3:30 PM

 

Have a wonderful summer!

Much love to you,

Davina

 

A Day of Self-Love: Honoring the Human and Divine Workshop 
Treat yourself to a day of self-honoring exercises, visioning, meditation, fun and connection!
We have an exciting day lined up for you!
Join Rev. Joan Steadman and Dr. Davina Kotulski, Ph.D. Author and Life Coach for a day honoring mind/body/spirit.
  • Davina will lead a group past life regression.
  •  Rev. Joan will lead self-care and self-honoring exercises.
  •  We will meditate, do a visioning for your spiritual unfoldment, and discuss any current twists and turns on your spiritual path.
  •  You will have a wonder-filled day of delving deeper into you!

Click here to register now for Early Bird Special!

Early Bird Special Ends July 15th–Limited Space-Register Now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Walking the Path of the Mystic: Awaken Your Inner Mystic Workshop 
Join Dr. Rev. Joan Steadman and Dr. Davina Kotulski for a 3 hour mystical workshop where you will: * Tap into your Divine knowing and learn how to awaken your inner mystic.
* Access the inner wisdom that guides us in our spiritual transformation.
*Explore the laws of manifestation from the metaphysical and the mystical perspectives.
–Early Bird Special $35
–Price $50 at the door.
Early Bird Special Ends July 16th–Limited Space-Register Now!
Davina Kotulski